A Smart Gateway to India…You’ll love it!
A Smart Gateway to India…You’ll love it!

Just sex on his mind?

You are in a new relationship and you can barely keep your hands off each other. He’s hot for you, the sex is fantastic and the last thing you want to do is complain. Now if only that annoying little voice in your head that goes, “he’s only in it for the sex, honey” would shut up!

“Ever since I started seeing Gaurav*, I have been getting the best sex of my life!” says Ritika Khanna*, 34, media professional. “Which is fantastic, but, lately, I have been noticing that we seem to be doing little else. For instance, we never seem to go out, or meet his friends, or just sit and chat. And for me, now that the initial high of getting it on all the time is kind of over, I do want to get to know him better and spend more time with him. However, Gaurav does not seem to be interested in taking the relationship to the next level. So I worry that perhaps he’s just interested in the sex and not me.”

Many men would argue that just because all they want to do is jump you in the early days of a relationship, it does not necessarily mean that they are not interested in you as a person. However, Delhi-based relationship expert Dr Gitanjali Sharma says that your “gut feeling” could be accurate. Here are some of the signs that you should look out for:

It’s not about you

If it’s not about sex, he shows complete disinterest in your life or fakes an interest at best (hint: his eyes glaze over the minute you start talking about yourself) and makes no effort to know you and where you come from. A man who loves you for more than your body will want to know about your past, your present, your dreams for the future, about your likes and dislikes… “A lot of men, who are not interested in commitment will say that they love you or play upon your emotions just because they want you to be pliable and ready for physical intimacy. However, you have to shed those rose-tinted glasses and ask yourself if his actions show that he cares or whether he is simply mouthing some empty words,” says Dr Sharma.

He doesn’t include you in his life

Have you met his friends and family and has he met yours? If you feel that he is avoiding introducing you to his circle, then he probably isn’t serious about taking the relationship to another level. “Guys who are serious about the girls they want to commit to want to show them off to people who matter to them and get their approval,” says Dr Sharma.

Setting the scene

Do you ever get the feeling that he sets up dates in a way that ensures that he gets some action? “Initially, I thought it was very romantic the way my ex would ensure that our dates were very “private”. It would always be at either of our respective houses, or at getaways close to the city, or sometimes, just in his car. However, I found it a bit odd that he would never want us to go out in a group or do different things like watching a movie or even eat out. Also, there was the fact that he would only catch up when he was obviously in the mood for some nooky. It didn’t take me long to figure out that I was nothing more than a booty call,” says Sahiba Singh, 28, PR manager*

A Smart Gateway to India…You’ll love it!

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