How to Make the Most Out of Valentine's Day When You're Single
February 14 has a way of reminding everyone without a date just how single they really are. (So much so that some have come to call it Singles Awareness Day.) But that doesn't have to be a bad thing. After all, singlehood can be a sign that you've made time for yourself, said no to people who weren't right for you, or ended a relationship that wasn't working...and that's something to celebrate.
"Being single on Valentine's Day is much better than being in a relationship," she adds. "Being single, you have no expectations. Being in a relationship, you always have expectations, which are rarely ever lived up to."
Here are some ways to remember that being alone on Valentine's Day does not mean you're missing out—and to make sure you don't miss out on all the fun the holiday can offer.
1. Make plans with friends.
"You're not in a relationship, but that doesn't mean you should be alone," says sex and couples therapist Cathy Beaton. "Plan ahead and engage in an activity with like-minded friends that is creative and fun." This can mean throwing a Valentine's Day party, going to a movie, or whatever you normally like to do. Soletti points out that there's no rule saying friends can't take advantage of Valentine's Day "couples" deals at restaurants, spas, and other venues.
Whatever it is, figuring out plans in advance can give you a reason to look forward to the 14th rather than dreading it, says Beaton.
2. Pamper yourself.
Beaton suggests massages, facials, or anything else that can help you feel loved and cared for without anyone else's attention.
"Do something that makes you feel healthy and deserving," she says. "You don't need another person to remind you that you're special."
3. Give yourself a pep talk.
Even if you'd rather spend the holiday in love, don't brood over your singlehood—remind yourself that you can change it, Beaton says. People can be their own biggest obstacles to love, so come up with a plan to put yourself out there and find the partner you're looking for.
"Go beyond your usual comfort-zone behaviors and decide to not only initiate a conversation but allow yourself to be authentic," Beaton advises. "Give up on negative beliefs that hold you back and forget about those 'perfect match' ideas that are unrealistic and keep you safe but single."
4. Meet other singles.
If you'd rather get to it right away, you can start your search for a significant other on Valentine's Day. Most cities host multiple singles events on February 14, and Soletti brings up a great point about them: "Valentine's Day is the best night for a single to go out, as it's one of the only nights of the year you're almost guaranteed that the 'singles' you're meeting are actually legit 'single.' It's a harsh but true reality. Think about it."
Or, if you really can't wait, you'll likely find singles events where you can look for a Valentine before the holiday even arrives. Even if you don't find a special someone, Soletti points out that you might meet a potential wingwoman to commiserate and go out with.
With all these opportunities, flying solo on Valentine's Day is something to be grateful for. Once you're in a relationship, you may even look back on your "Singles Awareness Day" fondly.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Keywords: dating, single, valentine's day