Suspect your partner is cheating? Here are effective ways to deal with both suspicion and betrayal.

“I LEARNT TO LET GO OF THE DOUBTS” NAINA DIXIT, 25, creative strategist

“Arjun and I had been in a steady relationship for over a year and things were going great. While I wasn’t the suspicious kind, I was a bit possessive of him. I started noticing a change in his behaviour—it wasn’t a drastic shift, just little things like he would step away to answer calls or never leave his phone unattended. Once, he left the room and I sat at his computer to find his Facebook page open. I went through his chats and saw his conversation with a female friend, which led me to believe that he might be cheating on me. Although I hadn’t confronted him then, my suspicion kept on growing and we started having a lot of tiffs. Finally, I decided to confront him. We talked it out—I told him about my doubts and he tried to reason with me. It was very difficult to let go of my doubts, but I eventually decided to do that and learnt to trust him. Things are now back to normal and I’m really glad I decided to talk it out with him.”

EXPERT ADVICE “LET THERE BE A DIALOGUE”

DR SILADITYA RAY, consultant psychiatrist and stress management strategist “Suspicions are of different kinds— they could either be evidenced doubts or they could arise based on condition. In either case, not having a conversation about it could be disastrous. If your suspicions are backed by evidence, then confront. Talk it out with your partner to decide the course of action, whether it entails terminating the relationship or working on it. If you have a ‘doubt about a doubt’—which is to say that you might not have any concrete evidence backing your suspicion but have a hunch that your partner is cheating—then proceed cautiously. Rather than hunting around for evidence, try voicing your suspicion to your partner. If you bottle it up, the hunch could crystallise into an idea— which can be seriously damaging.”

“SEEK HELP”

DR AMIT KULKARNI, psychiatrist “While every relationship is different and it is very difficult to generalise, suspicions about a partner’s fidelity can be detrimental to a relationship. If your doubts don’t have a basis, try working through it. It could be either the right intuition or it could be a delusion in development. To start with, open up and talk to your partner or your friends. If you are not comfortable doing that, think things over. If the doubt develops into a delusion, then it becomes very difficult for you to trust your partner— even if you have no evidence and your partner tries to vindicate himself. The more your partner tries to disprove your doubt, the more suspicious you will get. In that case, it’s best to seek professional help.”