As someone reminded us in the course of this story, ‘Miya, biwi raazi, toh kya karega qaazi’. If you are of alternative sexuality, that quaint Hindustani truism is problematic on at least two levels. The top qaazis of the land have spoken, and Sec 377 is back on the table telling us who it is okay to have sex with and how. Since sex is difficult to legislate, love is the bigger casualty of this judgement. Love, and all those gloriously mundane things, like asking someone out on a date, walking into a room holding hands, planning a life together, it’s all illegal now. Someone should really tell these couples.

“I am lucky to have found her”
Sonal and Jaanu*
By Deepa Suryanarayan

Sonal Giani, a petite 26-year-old with a pixie cut and a blonde fringe, is one of those people you feel instantly protective about. Till she starts talking. Sonal works as an advocacy officer at Humsafar Trust, and can not only take care of herself, but routinely quells homophobes by the dozen every day.

And yet, when she was on her way to meet the woman who is now her girlfriend in January 2012, Sonal was a bundle of nerves.“We met at a restaurant in Bandra, Mumbai. And the moment I entered, I knocked down a pedestal fan. Then as I sat down, I dropped the spoon and fork. Flustered, I tried to get up from my chair, and promptly knocked that down too!” recalls Sonal. Perhaps that is what broke the ice. Sonal says it took time for her to fall in love.“I was recovering from a break-up. My ex had succumbed to pressure and married a person of her parent’s choice,” she says.

“Jaanu had moved from Pune to Mumbai, and sent me a friendship request on Facebook in November 2011. We had chatted for a while, and finally decided to meet a couple of months later,” says Sonal. Having been burnt once, Sonal, who was once a firm believer in love-at-first-sight, says she came up with a rule. “I had decided that I would wait at least that long to figure out if I wanted to get into a relationship,” she explains.“But Jaanu and I were so compatible that I jumped right in. She’s intelligent, fun-loving and great with my family. I am lucky to have found her and I know her love for me is true.”

But life’s not a bed of roses. Sonal came out to her parents when she was 19. They were supportive, but Jaanu is yet to come out of the closet, and at 26, she is under pressure to get married. The Supreme Court judgement has affected their relationship in more ways than one.

“Jaanu was going to come out to her family in January, but the judgement has demotivated her,” she says. A lot of things in the couple’s life are now in limbo.“For instance, had the judgement been positive, we could have planned our life together and even made long-term plans like buying property,” says Sonal. The two had moved in together in April 2013, and are determined to stay together, with or without the SC’s blessings. However, they are selective about who they come out to. “I suspect my maid has a clue about it,” chuckles Sonal.“People have increasingly become more accepting—we don’t let other people’s opinions affect us.”

So Sonal and Jaanu focus on their relationship with each other as opposed to their relationship with others.“She tells me I’m a workaholic,” says Sonal. The duo came up with a simple solution for this—they’ve declared Fridays date night. And they also love to host friends.“When she came into my life, she brought a lot of friends—straight and queer,” says Sonal. “For Valentine’s Day, I am planning a surprise. I want to take Jaanu on a helicopter ride—it’s expensive, but hey, you only live once,” says Sonal, once Jaanu is out of earshot.

*NAME CHANGED ON REQUEST

“I met her and something just clicked”
Sherry* and Chris*
By Upneet Pansare

Thank god for Whatsapp!” Sherry and Chris tell me chuckling. After all, it was through a Whatsapp group that the two Goans found each other. The two are back after an evening stroll on a beach in south Goa with their two dogs. Sherry works as an English teacher in a local school and Chris is a veterinarian nurse-turned-pet groomer. They’re both 32. Their lives may seem laidback and enviable, but there is no denying the fact that there is a slight sense of fear and danger at all times.

“It’s a small town where people love to tittle-tattle,” Chris says. “Actually, we are more concerned about our jobs.” Sherry joins in,“We don’t know how the top management in my office will react. As for the people around, when they come to know about us, we will be the hot topic of discussion for a while, till they find some other piece of gossip!” To Sherry and Chris’s neighbours and most relatives, they are roommates sharing a flat. But to those in the inner circle, theirs is a love story like any other.

Neither remembers the actual moment it started, but they recollect that the flirting had begun in April last year when Chris, who is at the forefront of the LGBT movement in Goa, decided to start a support group that could meet regularly and organise activities for the community in the state. The two were introduced at the first meeting. As Chris puts it,‘something clicked.’ Everybody noticed their obvious liking for each other on the Whatsapp group. “Then some friends asked us if we were interested in each other. It took us by surprise, but we decided to give it a shot,” Sherry says.

During their initial dates, Sherry would talk to Chris about her students’ antics and Chris would entertain Sherry with her survivor stories of getting bitten by various animals in the vet’s clinic. It also helped that they had similar likes and dislikes when it came to music, movies and food. In July 2013, Sherry moved in with Chris, albeit with some hesitation from their parents.

The road hasn’t been easy. Chris remembers her parents would insist on getting marriage proposals for her. With Sherry, the struggle started with herself. “Till as recently as three years ago, I hadn’t accepted myself as a lesbian. I never felt attracted to men, but I thought that would change. My first relationship was when a girl in my college approached me.” Sherry, too, turned down marriage proposals before getting together with Chris. Her parents opposed her decision and told her that it was against the teachings of the church. They both insist though that their parents will eventually come around.

In the future, Sherry and Chris see ‘a big house, a happy life, our dogs and loving adopted kids’. Sherry is concerned about the nitty-gritties of adoption laws after the Section 377 ruling. “Why worry? We could both adopt separately and take guardianship of each others’ kids. That’s what everyone does,” Chris reassures her.

*NAMES CHANGED ON REQUEST

“We consider ourselves married”
Elen and Kiran
By Jayeeta Mazumder

Elen Govel hated Kiran Mova the first time they met in 2003, but Kiran took an instant liking to him. It took months before Kiran got Elen to even speak to him, and it took him even longer to commit. Years later, Elen clarified that he was upset at the way Kiran was treating his friend who was planning to propose to him that night.

Elen didn’t stay annoyed for too long, though. After running into Kiran at parties, he finally opened up, but the chase wouldn’t be over soon. It was his long letters that finally did the trick. Kiran recalls, “I’d write to him on weekends after I moved to the US for work. Elen’s responses would mostly finish in one sentence.” Elen was actually trying to gauge his own feelings for Kiran because he had never been in love before. “I wasn’t sure if I was ready for a commitment. But I definitely liked him a lot; I even had his picture on my desktop at work.”

When the two finally met for Kiran’s sister’s wedding in India, they realised how much they meant to each other. Kiran knew that he couldn’t part from Elen again. So he decided to get a job in Bangalore. “And left a lot of broken hearts in the US,” Elen quickly adds. The two have been together since 2008, and you can sense the easy camaraderie they share just listening to them talk.

Initially, their families had mixed feelings.“Coming out is a life-long process. But we are lucky to have affectionate families who accept us,” Kiran says.“A friend arranged a Satyanarayan puja for us,” says Elen, “and after that, we made our relationship public on social networking sites. Today, we consider ourselves married.”

Initially, Kiran just couldn’t cope with Elen’s flirty personality. Then again, Elen never lets him out of his sight. “Kiran is the guy you take home; he is calm as a saint and extremely patient. So the moment I sense someone hitting on him, I make it clear that he’s mine,” he laughs.

The couple loves kids and has often thought of adoption. “We want to adopt, but we don’t want to lie about our sexuality when we’re filling that form,” says Elen. The recent ruling on Sec 377 isn’t enough to drive them out of the country. Support has just started pouring in and they are hopeful it will grow.

It’s the little things that bring them closer—watching sunsets together, going on morning walks and trekking. When I tell them they sound like a very mushy couple, Elen quickly corrects me, “Oh, no! We are a sexy couple.”

“If you love me too, just call me”
Gousiya and Altaf Khan*
By Deepa Suryanarayan

It is her guru who has asked her to talk to me, and so Gousiya reluctantly agrees to the interview.

When I ask her to tell me her name, she says it’s Gousiya Altaf Khan. Altaf Khan, she explains, is her ‘brand new husband’. Gousiya tells me she is a new bride—she got married on December 4, last year.

That is obviously not legally possible, as Gousiya is a transgender person and her partner, male. When I probe further, she says a maulvi performed the ceremony.“Why shouldn’t I be married? We’re in love and are living together now.” Her friends and neighbours warned her against him. She says,“They told me he gets into fights in the locality. But I want to live with him. I love him.”

Gousiya was 14 when she ran away from home, a village in Andhra Pradesh, and made it to Mumbai, where she met her guru. She has lived in a chawl in Malvani, a suburb in Mumbai for the past 10 years.“I met Altaf three years ago. He lives near my house, but we had never spoken to each other, except for a polite ‘hi-hello’ when we bumped into each other,” she recalls. ”But about five months ago, when I was returning home around 11.30 pm, he was standing outside my house. I asked him what he was doing and he said ‘I am waiting for you’,” says the 24-year-old.“When I asked him why, he said,‘Because I love you’.”

Altaf had been waiting for her all day—it was a romantic proposal and Gousiya says she went weak in the knees. And unlike so many men who don’t give their (transgender) partner an option, Altaf gave her a chit with his cellphone number on it, and said,‘If you love me too, just call me.’The two have been inseparable since she made that call.

As elsewhere, looks are important in the transgender community too and Gousiya is proud of her chikna.“He is 26, but looks much younger. Woh mast lagta hai. Sabki nazar mere hero pe hai.”

“But the good thing about him is he doesn’t have a roving eye. And he has never hid his feelings from anyone—he is open with the rest of the world as well,” says Gousiya.“Even when he is around his friends, he always calls me and speaks to me. If we go out together, he walks with me—instead of asking me to walk ahead, like many men do.”

But Altaf has not yet revealed his marital status to his family. Gousiya admits that she nags him about this. “He says he will take me to meet his family next month. I asked him about what I should wear and what I could say to them. I have bought a new sari for myself and some gifts for my in-laws.”

Altaf definitely takes his role as husband seriously.“He hates it if I leave the house without my dupatta. He works in a private company and wants to earn enough money so that I can stop working,” says Gousiya. Her guru, Vasawi, is happy with the couple—this is very important to the bride. As Vasawi puts it, “Ladka, ladki raazi, toh kya karega qaazi.” And who are we to quibble over details.

*NAME CHANGED ON REQUEST